Reincarnation Hibernation
-inhaltslos, edited forum post, 2011
One thing I have noticed about people who are into reincarnation for the long haul is that they often go through periods of avoidance, remission, or even denial.I had a decade-long spell of avoidance (1994-2005). Mostly this was because researching past life Nazi stuff in the late '80s/early '90s left me with nothing but dead ends and a bitter sense of loss. Pretty much everything I remembered wasn't verifiable...and any books about reincarnation in general were of Stevenson's research and I simply coudn't identify with them. I also felt like I couldn't be a regular person while researching/courting the idea I was a Nazi and was always having some sort of internal struggle.
In 1994, I was off to college and wanted everything about Nazi Germany and reincarnation as far away from me as possible, though this was very difficult at times. I even had a few years of total denial and was embarrassed about even thinking I had had a life in Nazi Germany, and I'd never let my mind even wander on over there. I wanted nothing to remind me of the years I had explored reincarnation, even to the point that I would turn off the radio if a high school-era song came on, only because it reminded me of those days where I was digging into my past. I had kept my teen journals with me because I knew how much time was invested in them...but I would never read them, and was always hiding them from friends and roommates. I would of been mortified had anyone ever read them, and I am sure they would of been mortified, too. A few years after college I felt myself slipping back into reincarnation, and I burned one of my old journals, the one that had been the most important to me.
Life went on, and my interest in the era waned for good. Though sometimes I thought about it, still had a memory crop up here and there, I had felt more at peace.
When I returned to the subject in 2005, the internet was around. I was able to order books through Amazon and watch documentaries from NetFlix. Even more recently, I have been able to verify things from Axis History Forum and Wehrmacht Awards, among other places. Obscure facts are out there now.
What had I gotten from my 10 or so years of denial/avoidance? I can say I had gained life experience (college, marriage, parenthood, career, and all the stuff those things bring). Where I had felt like a real freak as a bespeckled 13-year-old thinking I was a Nazi in the past, I felt completely different thinking the same thing as a calm, educated, and accomplished adult. I was able to stand back and look at things more objectively. I also noted how my favorite color had changed about 10 times in the 10 years...yet I still believed I had had this past life and my avoidance had never really pushed it away. Though later it was a HUGE struggle learning how to balance my life then and my life now, I am pleased to say that I am finally getting to a point of assimilation. I thought I'd never get here.
I really think when reincarnation goes into remission it actually helps us when we finally return to the idea...though we may not see it that way at the time and perhaps went into hiding for the sake of our own freaking sanity in the first place.
Has this happened to you? If so, what triggered it? When you came back to exploring reincarnation, how had your pulling away changed your experience or mindset, if at all?