Fighting the Blues

If you're remembering a past life, you're going to feel melancholy. You're going to have bad spells. These are guaranteed, and I'd even go as far as to say that if you don't have a rough patch here and there, you're doing something wrong. 

While I do think there are benefits when going with your feelings and taking the time to feel all those things past life research gives you, negative AND positive, I never would say that you should let your current life go on the back burner. You're shortchanging yourself in the long run by not living the life you currently have and living in the past is doing you no favors! Daydream, feel angry, listen to period music. Do what you need to do to get it out of your system and start processing. However, if you feel you've gone past the necessary blues and are just plain down in the dumps, you need to fight it.

The trick is to have balance between that life and this life. I know, it's difficult. But there are things you can do: 

1. Even if it's the last thing you want to do, I recommend putting down the history book or biography, turning off the computer, and going for a walk. Even if it's just around the block a few times, the fresh air and bit of exercise will do you well. If you're like me, just being out in the neighborhood, seeing the kids playing, and hearing music coming out of a passing car's window will give you some perspective.

2. If getting out of the house isn't realistic because it's late at night or you're too emotional, you need to ground yourself into this life. How do you do this? I recommend playing  some music that was popular when you were a teenager, turning the TV on to some ridiculous show for background noise, watching a cheesy movie or rereading parts of a favorite old book...obviously, use movies and books that are NOT related to your era. Pick up the phone and call a friend or relative, if you feel you can. I know another person who used to stare at a newspaper's date to 'come back' to the present time. And ok...all these things sound silly, and I admittedly feel a bit silly writing them...but when you're starting to cry about something that happened 80 years ago and you feel everything closing in on you, remember these tips, put on a really old episode of American's Next Top Model, and write yourself a reminder to thank me later.

3. If you're feeling down, I stress on eating right and trying to get the correct amount of sleep. I know it's convenient, and comforting, to grab fast food/have a carb fest and I've had phases of skipping meals when caught up in my stuff...but I felt worse afterwards. I also would watch out for insomnia kicking in or, if you're like me, you may feel so wound that you need sleeping pills. Neither insomnia nor being drugged for sleep are recommended, obviously. Where I cannot know what sleep or relaxation techiques before bed would work for you, I do know firsthand that taking the extra time to get your normal amount of rest is paramount to keeping yourself feeling good. Exercise isn't a bad idea either, and it's fantastic for relieving stress. Go take a run or even that walk mentioned above.

 

Other People in Your Life

Another thing to keep in mind is that when you're researching or feeling badly, it's also difficult on your loved ones. Being distracted or depressed because of past life issues is something not everyone can identify with. You're out to lunch and emotionally exhausted because of some long lost battle, but naturally you're expected to be the parent, breadwinner, and life partner like you always are. Feeling down about past life issues is difficult enough, but feeling additional guilt for not being available, and knowing you're not, makes everything worse. You also may feel resentful that you can't get a time-out to do your thing. Your family may feel slighted that your attentions are elsewhere, or even jealous of past life relationships.  

I recommend taking the time to explain what you're going through to the other person. Tell them why you're upset and, more importantly, assure them that it will pass...because it will. Acknowledge that they may not believe that you're experiencing past life memories. Understand that they probably can't relate because they don't remember a past life. 

However, from my observations, it seems that loved ones can be an incredible support system. If they don't quite 'get' what you're going through because they don't remember a past life and couldn't possibly be less interested in your time period, this can actually be a good thing. They can help anchor you (or even distract you) by talking about non-past life related subjects and they keep your daily routine flowing. It's also beneficial having an impartial third party around to reread a possible verification or help during meditations or other techniques.  

 

Protect Yourself Online

This brings me to another important point: build yourself a support system...but be careful who is part of it. If your family and friends are on board as much as they can be, that's great. Hopefully you've also made some friends online who completely get where you're coming from. However, please use caution when making online buddies. Frequently when we're going through our past life stuff, we're extremely vulnerable and there are people online, chilling on reincarnation communities, more than willing to take advantage of this. They'll be cool at first, but then they'll remember being your past life lover, your soulmate/twin flame, the person who you harmed in the past, whatever their particular fantasy is. If you notice that something isn't quite right with your new BFF, get cut ties and run!

Things to look for:

1. These folks are very friendly at first, which isn't necessarily a red flag on its own. It's just that most people are a bit cautious in the beginning and these types make the rounds, just seeing who takes the bait.

2. They want your personal information rather quickly. Making friends online isn't anything new and naturally 'reincarnation friends' can turn into 'regular friends', but always use caution when giving out your name or phone number. I am Facebook friends with many people I only know from reincarnation communities, but this is something that most definitely does not happen overnight. 

3. They start to isolate you from the rest of your online friends. This can happen in a variety of ways, but the end result is that they are the only person who understands you or are your 'real' friend because of your 'deep bond' or 'special connection'. The other people you know just don't understand and maybe could be trying to keep you two apart. Oh noes!

4. They are controlling of your time. Woe to you if you didn't call or weren't online when they expected you to be. They either want to sock it to you or they'll ignore you. Either way, you're in trouble.
5. They start feeding you the same stuff you've previously said to make it sound like you have a connection. If you're not paying attention and fall for this, they'll know it and start feeding you crap to deepen your 'connection'.

6. They have no past life memories other than what they have with you, or what they have are lacking in depth.

7. If you're able to look at past forum posts, see if they've had drama, trouble with the mods, or other 'buddies'. Check out older posts to see if their 'memories' have suddenly changed to match yours.

8. They hold other beliefs that make you uncomfortable or make outlandish claims.

9. If they sense you're pulling away from the fantasy they've built up, they're suddenly very nasty, will start punishing you by ignoring you, or are 'suicidal'.

 

 

Now, this has never happened to me but since I am an active member of the online reincarnation community, I can tell you that I've seen this sort of thing going on...and, sadly, I've seen it more than once. It's crappy, it's predatory, and I've gone as far as called out both a forum administrator and the predatory person openly to have this sort of thing stopped. I think that there are bonds people can have between each other due to past lives, but the moment someone takes advantage of this, it hurts not only the person targeted, but the entire community.

 

Stay safe out there.

 

Research Frustrations

If researching a memory has been less that fruitful and you're starting to feel frustrated and worried that you're just wasting time, stop. Relax. Not everything is in the history books or documentaries yet. Not every memoir or set of transcripts have been published. Maybe you actually have to go to the place you remember and ask around. Maybe you'll meet someone else who remembers the same thing.  If you expect your research to be accomplished within a few clicks around Wikipedia, you're really fooling yourself. Research takes time and it's not unheard of for a memory to not be validated for more than a decade--or longer. Write down what you can and shelve the memory for later. 

 

 

Take a Chill Pill

I also recommend knowing when to take a break. It's completely ok to take a time out. I've taken one for 18 months and another for eleven years! Your past life memories aren't going anywhere, and I have noticed that when you are trying very hard to get something new to work with, that is when the memory well seems to dry up. This is part of the process and taking a breather doesn't mean that you've given up or are in denial. When you return to the subject of your past life, chances are the down time has actually given you some perspective and the determination to look further. 

 

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